at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
