Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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