and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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