Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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