i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
