You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
