Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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