Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
