now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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