We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
