your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
