He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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