That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
