oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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