I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
