I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
