I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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