i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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