Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm jealous of your bromance
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
