i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
