Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
