ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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