i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
