And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize