PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
