i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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