ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
