her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
false alarm. still invincible.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
