Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need water and some morals
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize