I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
