After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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