In the future we'll all be gay
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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