I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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