I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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