her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
