please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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