Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
