She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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