Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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