i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
