he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
