im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My life is pants optional.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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