I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize