Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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