She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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