When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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