seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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