Pappa wants mamma naked
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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