So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
