he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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