u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
