got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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