do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
