Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize