he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
