you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
