i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
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I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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