needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
