You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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