Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize